The Missing Psalm: Meditations on an Outlet Mall in Tuscany

by Peppa Martin

Yea, tho I walk through the valley of Toscana, I fear no bad taste for thine greatest designers art with me. Guide me, oh lord, as I journey on a day trip the road well-traveled from Florence, on highways marked with signs I cannot read, following like a lamb to slaughter the wanderers before me who likewise imperiled their finances.

My prayers to thee are boundless for bestowing upon us the wondrous virtues of GPS, and for the manna of extra crusty rustic Italian bread provided as sustenance to help reach this holy shrine of consumerism.

Buffer me Lord, as I join the endless waves of pilgrims, who search vainly for meaning among the deep discounts, end-of-season specials and overstock. Enlighten me with your wise counsel when choosing trendy styles, and absolve the guilt which arises from impulse purchases.

By thy grace, mine eyes behold Miuccia, patron saint of Prada; Gucci, Pucci and Salvatore, the benevolent Ferragamo.

And yea, though I am commanded to eschew the wicked beast of materialism, forgive me, oh Lord, for at times, I cannot help myself. Forgive the weakness of my wallet to stay closed and of my ignorance to pay in a foreign currency when our dollar is low.

Instead, cast mine eyes upon thy glorious gifts that abound on earth, and shield me with your grace from Chanel and the dual red-carpet transgressors of Dolce and of Gabbana.

And yea, oh Lord, may you take pity on the sloven stretchy–panted masses praying to the false idol Lululemon and that your condemnation of thoughtless attire be swift and painless for those who dwell in sartorial purgatory.

Spare me, oh Lord, from the unholy sequined knits of Hugo, Karl and Louis, for they lead me to unspeakable temptation and sin.

Relieve Lord, humanity’s burden of rampant vanity and may your holiness deliver salvation to my beleaguered Visa.

For these, and all your good deeds Lord, I give thanks and say,

Amen.

About the author

Peppa is a professional photographer and lens-based artist, gallerist, curator, art consultant and independent writer on art and culture. She owns and operates Truth and Beauty Studio & Gallery in Vancouver BC.

Photo Credit: Peppa Martin